Have any of you been “judged” by other’s – people who have misperceptions of you and then make it a point to shun you? These folks think they have you figured out based on their life’s experiences or lack of experiences, their insecurities, their failures, their disappointments, their hang-ups and their learned-mistrust.

And then they justify their perception of you because all they can see is through their filtered lenses that only pick up aspects and traits of you that fit the characteristics of their experiences with others or characteristics that are within themselves that they don’t like.

And the opportunity to learn from the person being judged in this manner is lost, the climate for mutual growth is stunted, the potential for a heart-to-heart connection with another human being is severed.

And how many times have we done this with people or have had others do this to us? And how rigid have we become that we don’t allow for unconditional Love, or  an expansion of our heart to unfold because we have to be right in our misperception? Our need to be right and justified takes precedence over compassion. It hardens us and clouds our True Vision.

Is this a sickness in us? Is it a take-over by unfavorable forces and/or discarnates? Should we blame outside sources? Is it something brought about by our environment or our society? Is it part of the “fallen” construct we are experiencing in this realm? What causes us to become “spiritually deformed”? What causes us to separate ourselves from our fellow human beings, and what causes us to castigate others based on our insecurities or “learned disdains”?

Or is it laziness – a laziness that doesn’t want to overcome the Ego that tells us how others are out to get us; or have an “agenda” for us; or are trying to … whatever. Or maybe it’s a mental disorder that we haven’t admitted to yet and don’t want others to know about or have diagnosed.

Maybe what’s in us is too frightening, or new, and we don’t want it to surface. So we stay away from others that bring up those “frightening” thoughts, feelings and emotions out of fear that someone will see the true “us”, or worse – that we will become what we fear.

Maybe this way of looking at the world and others is due to our feeling threatened or feeling “less than”. Maybe we’re feeling we don’t deserve to be seen, or liked, or Loved, or appreciated. We feel guilty about something we’ve done or haven’t done. Then we project it on others as a way to cope with our flawed perceptions, our ineptitude, or the thoughts that we’ve embraced that are shameful to us.

Maybe we could start seeing others in another Light, once we decide to Love ourselves despite all our shortcomings, self-imposed guilt, bad decisions, hurts and traumas.

Maybe if we stop being so hard on ourselves, we would allow our heart to open and become expansive… And maybe if we give ourselves permission to Love others and be Loved – regardless of how it looks – it may just happen that we’re no longer lonely and no longer separated from that special human connection or from that individual who may bring the chisel to help free us from our prison.

And if we could be OK with the idea that our heart can be broken and yes, it can be mended, then we won’t be afraid of interacting with the human race in a much deeper, more loving and profound manner than ever before.  As a consequence, we won’t be in fear of getting hurt. We won’t be apprehensive of being judged by others because our experiences with others are no longer dependent on how “we” think others will judge us, but are based on a true desire for kinship and a soul-to-soul, heart-to-heart connection and a relationship that is birthed from genuine Love and Trust.

Then, we can be free to be who we are and allow for profound human interactions at a spiritual and physical level which are life-altering and can transcend all limitations.

“When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying “You’re too this, or I’m too this.” That judging mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.”

-Ram Das

The above quote rings true. Many of us can relate to nature because nature is giving and doesn’t intrinsically judge us. When it comes to another human being, we’re cautious and guard our heart – and our space – for fear something will be taken from us. Maybe we feel that we’re hiding something that we don’t want others to know or we feel that someone will overstep their boundaries, or that someone will hurt us emotionally or worse.

So we build walls around ourselves and justify our being locked up in our fortress due to some trait or behavior that we perceive in others – a fear of that which is intrinsically in us, and one we don’t desire to surface because then we become vulnerable. We’re afraid of vulnerability and being genuine with our feelings and thoughts. And when we punish others for what we think their intentions are, we do so because its a way to punish ourselves indirectly.

When we give everyone the opportunity to be who they are,  without having the need to label or define them based on the definitions found in our experiential-dictionary, then our relationships with others become more expansive and meaningful. Then we can connect at the heart level and not allow our mind to project an outcome for that relationship that has been tainted by our prejudices or bad experiences in the past.

The key is to remove the bricks around our heart, come in with no expectations, but allow the human connection to unfold. How about we don’t go in with preconceived ideas or hangups about how this is supposed to look for us, as each moment is an experience with the potential of being magical and one that can heal us and liberate us?

So, if we can give others the benefit of the doubt, approaching  people – and possible relationships – as if they were trees, maybe we won’t approach them with fear. If we expect nothing but the goodness that everyone has intrinsically, maybe we can experience “goodness” in our lives. Maybe we won’t judge how love should be packaged. Maybe we can just bask in the Purest Love, regardless of how our “limited self” has redefined it from the Original definition of Our Creator. Maybe this new approach can change not only ourselves, but the other person. Maybe it can change a world that lacks this Love. And wouldn’t that be something else?

If we can be honest with ourselves, I think we can agree that it’s time to heal ourselves. We can start by forgiving ourselves, accepting ourselves, and loving ourselves  with all our faults, shortcomings and hang-ups, so that we can then accept others for whom they are. Encapsulating our heart, to protect us from feeling pain due to our own insecurities, robs us of the gifts and joy that others can bring that will fill our soul and re-ignite our spirit beyond anything we could possibly imagine. And then our life can “take off” and we can soar above those trees…

May the bricks around your heart crumble gently, allowing your spirit to be freed from its rigid confines. And may your heart grow wings, like an eagle, that lift you beyond the horizon, revealing all the possibilities that weren’t self-evident before.

-Ari Kopel

About the Author:

Ari Kopel is the Bestselling Author of “Spiritual Warfare & The Art of Deception: The Hijacking of Spirituality” and “Getting Back to Source: Tools for Connection, Protection and Empowerment”. Both became #1 Bestsellers and #1 New Releases in Amazon.

She specializes in Spiritual Psychology and is a counselor for those who are seeking to have a more profound experience with the God of their understanding and become fully empowered to help themselves, their loved ones and humanity.

Ari is also the founder of 2012Emergence.com and the radio show host and creator of“Shattering the Matrix” on BlogTalkRadio.

You can get in touch with Ari by going to her website: AriKopel.com

Get Books at Amazon:  “Spiritual Warfare & The Art of Deception” and         “Getting Back to Source“